The struggles of life

Yesterday i got some very unhappy news, a young man just my eldest age 23yrs decided to end his life, it was sad to hear and i wished i could have known him him maybe i could have made a difference.  I was also asked a question from from someone you would never believe 🙂 lets just say i have 2 boys one has always been more of a struggle to raise, his words can pierce like a dagger at times but his eyes can also be the playful child who is now becoming a man, raising my eldest was the hardest thing i have done and still is trying to do, for the many joy we have shared we also had some of the darkest moments, moments when i wanted to give up but i knew i could not so i endure all the pain, the laughter and they joy he would give to me.  going back to the question “would i rather endure all the pain or would i trade it for my son having to face his demons by himself ?

Well, for me there is no thought process there, sometimes life can be difficult to manage ones spirit can easily be broken, just remember the words there is, anything broken can be fix you just have to be willing to fight for it, as a single mother of two i can say to all the others out there don’t give up; it will get better, I know trust yourself and your children even when they don’t want you to.


About mssjackie

Licensed Mortgage Banker currently for the states of NY & NJ with over 18 years of mortgage banking experience, as a single mother of two sons ages 27 and 21 years old :) Came from the Island of Jamaica at the age of 18 years old with just the shoes on my feet and the clothes on my back. Soon pregnant with no support or hope, I had to find a way to survive. Through many struggles and hard times, survive I did. Now I would like to share my experiences with others who may be facing the same hopelessness but with the desire to survive the struggles facing them.
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2 Responses to The struggles of life

  1. That is really sad and I’m sorry to hear that. It is so inspiring to hear that you are trying your hardest with your kids.My mom is a great mom too and she has loved me through some very tough things. I don’t know what I would do without her. Btw I like your blog and will be visiting again.:)


    • mssjackie says:


      Thank you, it’s hard but I also now have more great moments that I can see more for what they are now more than I ever did before, I cannot say I know what’s it’s like to raise girls, but I can say boys can be tough especially when they have so much of yourself in them 🙂 my heart of joy today goes to your mom too

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